Supporting people through Homicides / Sudden Death / Suicides

Practical Tips in the Support role.

Acknowledge the loss

  • don’t avoid it and say nothing, the victim can feel very isolated at times
  • to say ‘you are sorry and don’t know what to say’ shows you have courage and care about the victims

Do not ask the victims “what can I do to help?’

  • The victims are often unable to think clearly. If you see a need just quietly go about doing it.
  • Some helpful things could be; mowing the lawns, dropping in a meal, getting the groceries, giving financially, minding the children, transport for the family, or simply a quiet drive.
  • Light meals, eg: chicken & salad, and sweet plain biscuits are good

Key support person

  • Identify some-one who is knows what is going on and is able to co-ordinate needs and requests.
  • Make a list of names of in-coming flowers, messages, food, gifts and phone calls. The victims may want to acknowledge them at a later stage

Visiting victims

  • Short visits only, attention span and emotional capability is at an all time low 10 minutes is adequate.

Do not launch into your own story and hardships unless asked. It doesn’t help!!

“Everyone grieves differently and at their own pace, there is no right or wrong way”

Wendy Marshall.