That ‘Happy Place’

Have you ever heard your children or grandchildren say, ”My ‘happy place’ is….”?

It made me think “what is my ‘happy place’?” What is essentially just me? This is a question is for you too. We all need a ‘happy place’.

I have several happy places or favourite things to do. Spending time with family, having everyone gathered around for a meal. Swimming in our local outdoor pool, with the sun shining and the water sparkling like diamonds. I like sitting and reading a good page turning mystery novel.

I just love hanging out with my husband Bryan. Travelling, discovering new places, experiencing new cultures and foods, or walking amongst beautiful trees and gardens.

Then it occurred to me that we get caught up in our roles as mother, wife, or in our particular job. Everywhere we look there are expectations on how we should look, behave and live. But we must be our own person too. I’m sure this sense of self gets lost along the way as we get busy with all the demands on us. (“To thine own self be true”, as Shakespeare wrote.)

As I have walked this journey of losing our dearly loved son and all the events that followed, I am starting to remember what kind of person I was. Tragedy and loss changes us but we can have a new depth and growth and still find our way, I hope, to be a better person.

I have this saying up on our wall at home.

“A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.”

Sometimes we need a gentle reminder. We all have a song.

I remember I love to wear funky clothes. So this season I have bought some seriously cool drop crotch pants. I remember I like to drive a little Mini Cooper. (There’s a fond memory of learning to drive in one as a teenager). I remember I like to sing.

This is a new beginning for me and no one has to like what I like or even approve. It really doesn’t matter.  What matters is that we find the person in us that we had forgotten was there.