Most of us struggle when we are hit below the belt with something we didn’t expect. It feels like we’ve been blown off course when we were going in quite a different and happy direction!
Suddenly our perspectives changes in that instant and we don’t know where we fit for a while. I felt like an outsider mostly. We have to find a new place in our community and society and a new course to tread.
As time has gone on I have started to see things quite differently. One thing is the sense of how precious life is and not wanting to waste it. We do not know what tomorrow will bring.
What drove me to work through my grief and keep moving forward was having a sense of purpose to make life better for our children and grandchildren. To have a sad grandmother stuck in bitterness and negativity was not the option for me.
I am now more than ever determined to make my life count. We all have gifts and it is up to us to open our package and use it.
One of mine is to encourage and inspire children and families when their lives are falling apart – that they will be able to get through. I am driven to write children books to help kids find their way through different situations. (Number two book is coming out soon!)
It doesn’t have to be much that we do. I just think of who I can encourage each day. I can now send a text to our older grandchildren to re-enforce my love for them and a give few words of encouragement. For kids to know they are important to us and their lives count is imperative. The words we say can be life-giving. It’s a tough world out there. Often kids can look like they are coping but in reality if there is a lot going on in their lives. They need as many of us as possible to be present for them and really listen and care and sometimes do something for them.
My sister Wendy (whose son Andy was murdered 10 months after Scott) and I still text each other most days. We each start the day better because of those few words in the mornings.
I don’t think I noticed as much going on around me and how many people were struggling until our family went through so much heartache. Now I see things through new eyes. Our lives are now set on a different course and part of that is to give others new hope.
p.s. I found this sketch in a journal when I felt like everything had thrown me of course.