Focus On What You Can Change

I was reminded of this very important fact as I tried to vacuum Bryan’s office! There isn’t much room to get in there to make a lot of difference. We have a conversation about tidying it up and sorting almost every time I go in there. BUT it is his domain and whatever I say it won’t change anything, it will probably make things worse! (He pointed out that if a man says he’ll tidy up there’s no need to remind him every 6 months!)

It gave me pause to think about how many other areas in our lives we tend to focus on what we cannot change. I find a good way to look at it is to divide our circumstances and situations into those we can change and those we can’t.

Nearly everything in life can be changed if we approach our circumstances in a different way. Making a list of what we can change is helpful and by referring to it often keeps us going in the right direction.  Too many of us fail and keep failing because we persist in trying to change what can’t be altered. That takes too much of our energy.

One of the most important lessons I have learned is to change the way I react. “Nothing changes if nothing changes.” We can end up blaming the people in our spheres of work and home for treating us badly. I have been like that. Instead we wait for changes that probably won’t happen. We become predictable in our reactions and so the frustrating circle keeps going around. There is often another way!

If we change ourselves then it forces those around us to change something. I worked on my self-confidence and discovered new strengths to enable me to change some things in my relationships.  If we believe in ourselves and our abilities we tend to make better choices.

I found this quote; “If there is a solution find it and if there is none never mind it.” That sums it up for me. So if you are dissatisfied with an area in your life, make the choice to change. Also expect good things to come towards you.