We all have them, and some of us suffer from living in a negative spiral more than others. While I was in the garden today, (my place where my creative thoughts seem to come) I thought I would share with you what I have learned over time, how to overcome the down days and self-doubt. I hope it will help you too.
It can be our hormones playing havoc, or it can be what negative people say to us and about us. It could be we screwed up at work or home. It can also be terrible events that have happened to us and continue to overwhelm us. But the sun comes up in the morning, a new day dawns and with it new opportunities to change some things.
I keep a note of really nice things others have said or written about me. I also write down what I have achieved or overcome. I read over these things any time I might be having a bad day. Learning a new skill and mastering it is a wonderful boost to our self-worth. In turn, it is very important for us to compliment or encourage someone every day, as we don’t know what a life-saving gem it could be for them.
We all need fans. It doesn’t matter if it’s just one or two, as long as they see the best in us and our potential. They can give us wings to rise above self-doubt and believe in ourselves.
One of my recent passions is visiting primary schools, whether reading my book about Stanley the cat or visiting assemblies as a Duffy Role Model. This entails speaking for a few minutes in assemblies and giving out books to children who badly need them and with it, a good dose of encouragement. The feed-back I get is enough to fan the flame for me wanting to do more. (If you ever feel low, do something with a child. They respond so well to praise and time spent with them.)
I read a positive quote or few words at the beginning and end of each day. A good idea is to tape a favourite quote to the toilet door or bathroom mirror to ensure it is read often! It is helpful for the kids too. I still find being thankful for little things everyday makes a difference to my wellbeing and attitude. At the moment we have bellbirds and tuis singing in the garden and two wood pigeons who sit and watch us while we work. How good is that!
It is important to have good positive people in our lives. I can’t stress this enough. We are not meant to cope on our own. We need each other and a sense of being part of a community. If life gets overwhelming, that is when we need extra help. When I look back, if I didn’t have so many people caring for me I don’t think I would have made it through the dark times. There is a lot of information available nowadays about mental health, which is helping us all to be more aware of how we need to be connected with our friends, family and neighbours, to watch out for and check in regularly with. Talk about the important stuff. The first port of call for us when we are overwhelmed is a caring G.P. who will then recommend the next step to take.
If we didn’t have to overcome the down days, we wouldn’t appreciate the good days nearly so much. So dear reader, don’t give up. Keep persisting, looking for the best help for you, so you can find your way back up.