Too often we get wrapped up in worrying about what is going on around us. Just the thought of our problems is often overwhelming. Our stress levels increase. Especially when our lives are in turmoil or there are big changes that we need to make or we are having trouble adjusting to challenges we are faced with.
I am very grateful to learn about focusing on what we can change. A few years ago we were faced with a mountain that looked too big to climb. Losing our son Scott was only the start of the rollercoaster ride. We were out of our depth and needed good advice.
The first step was to “Identify the Issues”. A good friend helped us to stop and look at where we were.
We needed to employ a farm manager so that Bryan was free to attend the upcoming trial.
We needed to close the shop ‘reve’ which Nikki and I owned, to be free to focus on the family.
We needed to look after our health by having a holiday, which at the time seemed a crazy thing to do in the middle of such a mess. But we did and it helped to have a break and to clear our heads.
We needed to sit down and talk with our family.
We needed to prepare for the trial. We needed advice on how we were going to handle this completely off the wall experience. We needed to think about how we would respond to the media.
It was all about identifying the issues.
It was also about identifying what we could control and what couldn’t we control?
We couldn’t control what the media wrote or reported, what people thought or the outcome of the trial. We had to let go of these to focus on what we could control.
What we could control was to support one another. We could control our words, our attitude and our actions. If we had looked at our problems as something way too big or too hard, we would have worried ourselves sick and muddled through. Having outside advice made a huge difference.
Sometimes when we are living in the middle of some big issues we can’t see the way through clearly. As you face your storms, whatever they may be, some parts of it cannot be changed. But we can get through them. Remember to focus on what you can change!
written by Jo andBryan
“We can’t change the wind, but we can adjust the sails”