When we go through a tragedy or a crisis in our business or personal lives, it feels like we lose our way and just can’t find our path back to being a ”normal person”. (What is normal anyway?)
In the weekend my sisters Wendy and Ade, Ade’s daughter-in-law Beth and I went for a walk at Foxton Beach. We thought we had found the way back to the beach house only to discover there was no path. Before we knew it we were surrounded by very tall lupins! There was no clear path at all. (We did get back eventually after a bit of scrambling up and down some rough terrain).
It made me think about our lives after heartbreak. The way ahead that we thought was clear suddenly isn’t at all. Which way do we go through this uncharted territory when we are blown way off course? Another way to describe it is like being in a fish bowl and looking out and seeing everyone laughing and seemingly having a good time. It is so far off what life feels to us. In comparison things can look pretty bleak ahead.
I have discovered is there is a way through. We have to keep believing and keep moving forward even though our hearts are grieving. It isn’t the same as ‘moving on’. I don’t like that phrase. ‘Moving on’ sounds like we must forget about the life we have lived before our great sadness and just start again. Instead, I believe it is not staying in one of the stages of grief.
What has happened to us is woven into the fabric of our beings. It is part of our history. We don’t just rewrite our future as if something never happened. We can become better people for our experiences. We can also learn from them. Then we in turn can have compassion and empathy for others who are just beginning their difficult journey.
If we take the time to face our pain and then make peace with it, we can see our path become clearer. It seems to take a long time. It can’t be hurried. We must keep searching for our path of new meaning and purpose. We must never give up believing that there will be better tomorrows. In the mean-time I breathe in our beautiful spring days and wonder at the beauty around us.
“We do not receive wisdom; we discover it for ourselves after a journey that no-one can take for us”