At times it seems to be very hard to get across what we are really trying to say. Sometimes we don’t know ourselves what the issue is. It takes a while to work it out. It often comes out all wrong. I find that over the years I have reacted to things, but the issue isn’t the reaction.
We were talking this morning about when we were younger and bringing up our four children with Bryan busy at work all the time. We were often tired and stressed.
I used to say to him, “You don’t know how hard I work. Your job is easier because you just walk out the door.” (A result of getting up in the night to small children, feeding farm workers, and doing a lot of the work with the kids on my own).
Bryan’s reaction was always “You don’t know how hard I work. I get up in the morning at 4.00am and don’t get home till 6.30pm and then have bookwork at the end of the day.”
All this and then we added various committees and boards. No wonder we were tired and stressed. What were we thinking!
Hindsight is a great thing. A word from the wise if you have a young family and small children and trying get head financially. It is not a competition about how hard we work but it is about appreciating the other person. To doing something small every day that makes our partner/spouse feel a little lighter with their load. We don’t need a lot to keep us going. A love note on my pillow still does wonders. Bryan and I wasted a lot of time with the wrong attitudes. It’s not hard to change. It just takes a decision. Today is a good time to start!
p.s. The photo is of me just out of the maternity home with Anna. I was taking husks off the corn ready for freezing. At this stage we were growing corn for Watties! We had 3 children under 3 1/2.