Suffering and living through heartbreak changes us. It can be for the better if we let it. There are a few people who I know who have died or lost loved ones recently and it is such a hard thing to come to terms with and work through. It is not a process to be rushed and we eventually have to find a new way to live without that significant person in our lives.
The gap left by someone we love can never be filled by another person or a frantic busy life. We think is too painful to stop being busy, but eventually it does catch up with us. Tears are healing, (drink lots of water), sad days are ok. It takes a while. We need to be kind to ourselves as we find how we fit into life again. It certainly won’t be the same as before. Some people don’t know what to say to a grieving person and so avoid contact. We have to accept that and also the words of advice that aren’t always helpful.
Sometimes we only need a hug and “I am thinking of you and care about you.” It seems such a little thing but it can make such a difference.
As I look back on my grieving process I have found that I have changed in so many ways. For a long time I tried to find my way back, only to discover that I never was going to! There is no way back to our old lives and the way we viewed the world. We find a new way.
A crisis makes us look at how we live our lives. We start seeing things differently. We stop and re-evaluate.
My perspective has completely changed. It is like having new lenses on my eyes. Time is my most valued commodity. Time spent with family and loved ones and slowing down enough to enjoy what I have today. I take nothing for granted. Tomorrow may never come. The beauty of nature holds me spellbound. To me I can see God’s hand and feel a deep peace. I listen more to the yearnings of my soul. I appreciate the still and quiet.
I have become more aware of others around me who are suffering. I care deeply for kids who can’t find their way because of the big issues and losses in their lives. It motivates me to write and visit schools. To be a lighthouse.
I look at the things I can do and decide what is important to me and live for that. I am still learning and changing, and I am on a creative mission this year of doing new things. I am even going back to drawing, among other things. Creativity is so important in our healing process.
So whatever place you are in with your grieving, try not to be impatient. As the world carries on around you and it feels like your world has stopped you will find everything has a season. You will find your way.
p.s. Every visit from the family is a treasured memory! I loved all the footwear at the door!